I absolutely hate myspace.

It's not Myspace itself that I hate, I just hate the people that use Myspace.

One reason why I despise people with a myspace (which is somewhat hypocritical of me, because I have a Myspace) is that they always have their name down as something stupid.

A lot of my friends have it as some overdramatic phrase to show how 'bad' their life is.

These people think their life sucks just because they're grounded from their phone.

Big deal, it's probably good for you, you stupid prick!

Here's one name: 'I Don't Want To Live Anymore' or something like that.

This person hates her life because her boyfriend that lives in another State broke up with her...

WHAT...
THE...
FUCK...

I'm not insulting online relationships, although I want to so badly, but that would be far too easy...because they're often the product of spoiled attention whores, with nothing to do.

I'm insulting the fact that people get suicidal when somebody breaks up with them.

If I went out with the girl I like, and she broke up with me, I'd probably be sad for a day or so, than I'd get over it!

I know I've illustrated this next part before, but it's necessary, and hilarious.

So I'd broken up with my girlfriend on Halloween, mainly because I told her she was wearing a ton of perfume, and she attacked me, and because she wanted to run away with me, and when I refused, she went insane.

So at school, I had skipped advisory just to go to lunch, and she had skipped her music class just to see me. She wanted to apologize I guess for attacking me, but she ended up yelling at me again, so I just broke up with her. She runs away sobbing, and I walk into my Study Hall feeling accomplished.

The next week or two was wasted with her begging me to take her back, which resulted in me laughing.

Eventually, I notice that my books in my locker are missing, and I immediately knew the culprit.

I admit, It was my fault for letting anybody share my locker, especially when I was blessed with the luck of having know locker partner to begin with. (and it's going to be like that all of high school, which is awesome!)

So I go up to her friends who were walking by, and ask them where she was, or where my books are, and they all laugh and walk away like the whores they are.

When I find her, I demand that my books be returned, which she obviously refuses.

That night, I decide to call her and tell her that my books should be returned to me the second I get in school.

The good thing about all of this, is that my friends became closer. They all found it hilarious also, which was nice, and now we're all pretty close.

So I meet them all by my locker, and when we see her coming with my books, they fell silent, and watched me.

One of my friends who I've known for quite a while comes with me to get my books back. She looks at him, then at me and exclaims, "HERE'S YOUR BOOKS, ASSHOLE!!!"

Throwing the books on the ground, then assaulting my friend (who was laughing the whole time)

We all break into laughter, and 'Here's your books asshole' became the quote for immediate laughs.

She then started telling everybody that I had a small dick, and than another friend replies, "Not everybody has a dick as big as yours Sophia!"

Which we all laughed at again, which angered her so she storms off to go complain to her friends about how her life 'sucks.'

Then she came back the next day saying, "You're nothing like Kurt Cobain, He wasn't such a pussy,"

In which I replied,

"Actually he was," I said calmly, "he was probably more of a pussy than I am."

When we first started going out, I jokingly said that I was a reincarnation of Kurt Cobain, because he died around the time I was born, and Nirvana was one of my favorite bands at the time.

She, of course, took this seriously, and said "Oh yea, I am too"

She still wants to ruin my life (by embarrassment I guess, because she thinks I'm some trend whore like her, and that I care about my appearance all the time) and tells everybody how I ruined her life.

If anybody's life was affected, it was her last boyfriends (before me) which she cheated on, (with me...)

Well, I didn't know at the time, and when she told me I was appalled.

Then she sort of made me ask her out (because she's sexist, and thinks that men should ask out the women, no other way)

and the rest's history...

Anyways, Myspace also sucks because people do those quizzes to show their 'individuality'

WHAT?

You need some internet quiz to lie to you, to tell you how un-individual you are!

I admit that I've done some myspace quizzes, but not to show off like the others, just because I wanted to see what they were.

The worst part is that people post their results on their page, at the very top, so that they show off what Jonas Brother they are!

In conclusion, everybody is a stupid asshole except for me.

This advertisement is hilarious. I saw it on Encyclopedia Dramatica.