I'm drawing some pretty weird stuff, I'll probably post when done.

I hate holidays: I always need to visit family. My mother's side of the family is full of drunken irish catholic zealots. They disapprove of me every time I do something, and they make sure I know too. I haven't showered inf a few days, so I hope that'll irritate them a bit.

So my concert: I did really good, but you could hardly hear my guitar, I think the pedal I was using was broken, so It wasn't on overdrive during my solos. There were several other songs done like Mr. Crowley, Smells Like Teen Spirit, Holiday (Green Day), and a Jonas Brothers song (It sucked obviously) and dozen more. It was actually alright.

I've been writing some mental poetry lately. Mental poetry sounds really cool doesn't it? Whoa, shit, I just turned on my light to see something, and my keyboard is EXTREMELY dirty. It's filthily disgusting. Whatever. I'm probably going to clean it sometime. I'm the only one that uses the computer anymore, well at least for something useful. My sister only uses it to go on AIM, my mom doesn't know how to use it, then she gets mad at me for trying to help her with it (she's trying to do something with her iPod, but she doesn't know how.) My dad doesn't go on much. I despise my family, I just don't enjoy conversation with them whatsoever. My dad is difficult to talk to, either due to lack of intelligence (on his side) or through his immaturity. My mom is a conservative catholic bitch. She hates everything I do, just like her family. She cares more about her reputation in her family, then about me; It's really annoying.

I also gotta see my dad's family tomorrow also. They're alright, although they think I'm a poser, because I mentioned when I was 12 (a few years ago) that I was 'grunge' but I was trying to express that I liked 'grunge', but they now think I'm obsessed with being a subculture. They always say 'oh, you do that 'cuz you're grunge' and the whole room breaks out in laughter, always tempting me to throw some sort of comeback at them, but I know that my grandfather would shoot me. He's extremely strict. He was on Iwo Jima in WWII. Although I agree with a lot of his political views: he's a very leftist democrat, so he's bearable.

I honesty hate the idea of families. You're forced to love somebody, and that somebody tortures you, or mocks you, or hits you, or humiliates you. By humiliate I don't mean embarrass, I mean make you feel very weak in comparison to them. I find the idea of a family idiotic.

I've been drawing on my pants a lot. I'll just take a sharpie, and draw random crap on it. I have a radioactive symbol, the quote 'Friends don't let friends ... give friends haircuts' from 'Friends' I believe, but It was written on the bass on AIC Unplugged. I have the 'awesome' face. I have a 'stoner' face that I made, I'll probably draw one for you and post it sometime. It's really awesome. I have a %u2665 pie on it. I have 'cupcakes' written on it. and I have 'huh' and 'what' written on it. That's just the pair I'm wearing though...I only own two pairs of pants, and they hardly fit me. One pair is too tight, and the pair I have on right now is a little too short.

That's another thing my mom's side of the family hates: any sign of individuality or expression of free thought. They're EXTREMELY conservative. They refuse to acknowledge they're children until they're drunk (which is almost all of the time) and when they do, they are so annoying,

I've been asked "What do you call your penis? Do you call it a wee wee, or a Penis?" by my aunts and mother. I think that, if you have a family that depends on you (kids for example) than you shouldn't get drunk or high. It's beyond annoying, irresponsible (I've never used that word before) and absolutely idiotic. They're also really racist. They constantly mock the Vietnamese that are in the neighborhood. They always say 'Asians can't drive' which is a retarded stereotype. Especially because they always drive drunk, so they drive worse then what the 'stereotypical Asian driver' drives like. I hate them so much.

My cousin (from that side of the family) had the nerve to text me :"You should dress nicely. No seriously, don't be a slob dress properly this time." Which is the reason why I haven't showered since Thursday (or was it Wednesday?) and have been wearing the same clothes since Friday.

This is actually another thing that girl I mentioned in the last few posts talk about. Our drunken families. She's has some Italian heritage, so her family drinks a lot of wine. My families Irish, so they drink everything, but mostly beer. And they discuss sports all the time. And they live in Boston. And they have annoying accents.

She's probably one of the few people that I like, that I like them for their personality. I usually like somebody for similar political views, or musical taste, but I like her for her personality. I don't know her political views (although I'm sure it's fairly liberal, because she hates homophobes, and all of her friends are bisexual) but she likes some of the mainstream rock of today. I hate it, but the fact that I like her personality that much is almost astonishing. (to me at least) It's hard to get her off my mind (insert generic love quote here) and when I do, I go back to being extremely bipolar, grumpy, and manic. When I simply think about her, I get some sort of ecstasy that's not explainable. When I talk to her it's almost like I have reached the highest form of Nirvana. I'm really goddamn poetic aren't I?

Now of course I'm going to figure out that she has a boyfriend...It's actually happened before...but that's a story for another time (I actually probably explained it in a really old blog post) Or that she absolutely hates me and is only pitying me as some sort of cruel joke. (also happened before) Probably the latter, that's happened a few times. It's almost pathetic how lucky I've been with relationships. The first time, I had this 'crush' on some girl, and I was far too nervous to talk to her, and she figured out I liked her, then she just started being a jerk to me. Another time, I knew this girl that I hardly ever talked to, on the last day of school, I finally had enough courage to ask her out, but she was already on her bus when I went looking for her. The next time, the girl hated me, and was pitying me. The next time, she had a boyfriend. The next time, she had a boyfriend, but she broke up with him to go out with me. The last one was the closest thing to a relationship I ever got. I wouldn't exactly call it a relationship. We smoked some pot, then she constantly nagged me from that point on. When I broke up with her, she started obsessing over me. Then she stalked me. Then when I told her to fuck off, she went insane, and stole all my books. When I got them back, she tried to get back with me. Then there was a period of rest, but now she keeps tabs on all of our mutual friends, to see what I'm doing. She's really clingy if you haven't noticed already. This girl that I've met now is the only one I actually feel fully attached to emotionally.

I don't even know if I can even get enough courage to ask her out or anything like that. I'm pathetic.

Y'know? I should dedicate my next blog post to all of my past encounters with relationships. Not that it'd be so epic or anything, but just to get the story straight in my own mind.

Well, easter sucks, my relationships suck, my family sucks. Life is good